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This Week's Passage
Ephesians 6:1-3
Focus Verse
"Honor your father and mother," which is the first commandment with a promise: "that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth."
Ephesians 6:2-3
Before you read: notice the two different words.This passage actually gives two distinct commands — "obey" in verse 1, and "honor" in verse 2 — and most people read past the difference. This week is built entirely around what separates them.
Questions
1. When you hear "obey your parents" versus "honor your father and mother," do those feel like the same instruction to you, or different? What's your gut sense of the difference, before we study further?
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2. What do you hope God will do in your heart this week as we look closely at the difference between obeying and honoring?
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Read Ephesians 6:1.Paul's instruction to children comes right after his call in 5:21 for all believers to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ — this command doesn't stand alone; it's part of a larger pattern.
Questions
3a. What two reasons does Paul give in verse 1 for children's obedience?
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3b. Read Ephesians 5:21. How does reading verse 1 in light of this earlier verse change how you understand authority inside a Christian household?
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4. Underline the phrase "in the Lord" in verse 1. What does this phrase imply about the limits, if any, of a child's obedience?
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Read Ephesians 6:1 again, this time alongside Acts 5:29.Paul's command to "obey" has a built-in ceiling most people miss on first reading — "in the Lord." Peter and the apostles show exactly where that ceiling sits, when a human authority's order collided with God's.
Questions
5a. Read Acts 5:29. What did Peter say when the religious council's command directly conflicted with what God had told the apostles to do?
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5b. "Obey" in verse 1 is addressed specifically to children still under a parent's household authority — it was never written as a lifelong blank check. Where do you see people (yourself included) stretching "obey your parents" into situations Paul never intended it to cover?
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6. Has "obey" ever been used — by you, or against you — to demand something Scripture doesn't actually require? Sit with this one honestly before answering.
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Read Ephesians 6:2 alongside Exodus 20:12 and Deuteronomy 5:16.Paul quotes directly from the Ten Commandments here — and notice the word itself changes. Verse 1 said "obey." Verse 2 says "honor." That's not an accident.
Questions
7a. Read Exodus 20:12 and Deuteronomy 5:16. What stays the same and what, if anything, differs in how the command is worded across these passages?
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7b. Paul had just used the word "obey" one verse earlier. Why do you think he switches to "honor" here instead of simply repeating himself?
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8. Whether or not your relationship with your parents was healthy, what does it mean for you personally to "honor" them — is honoring the same as obeying, agreeing, or staying silent about harm? Take your time with this one.
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Read Mark 7:9-13 and 1 Timothy 5:8.Obedience has a shelf life — it was given to children inside a household under a parent's authority. Honor does not expire. This is the heart of the tension this week: many adults quietly assume that once they've grown up and stopped "obeying," they've also finished the command. Paul, and Jesus, don't let that stand.
Questions
9a. Read Mark 7:9-13. What loophole were the religious leaders using, and what does Jesus' anger about it teach you about what "honor" is meant to look like in practice, especially once "obeying" no longer applies?
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9b. Read 1 Timothy 5:8. How does this verse extend "honor" into a lifelong, active responsibility rather than a rule that expires at adulthood?
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10. In your own life right now, are you still in a season of "obeying" your parents, or have you moved into the lifelong season of "honoring" them instead? What does that shift practically require of you that obedience never did?
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Review Ephesians 6:1-3 once more, slowly.Two commands, one bounded and temporary, one permanent and active — both aimed at the same relationship, but asking very different things of you depending on where you stand in life.
Questions
11. Of the two commands in this passage — "obey" (bounded, "in the Lord," for those under parental authority) and "honor" (permanent, active, lasting a lifetime) — which one is God pressing on you more right now, and why?
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12. Of everything this week — the ceiling built into "obey," the promise attached to "honor," or honor as lifelong action rather than a childhood rule — what is God specifically inviting you to carry forward?
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Leader note — Homiletics for Group and Administrative Leaders: Ephesians 6:1-3 — help the group hold the obey/honor distinction clearly, without letting it become a technicality anyone hides behind. Be especially sensitive: some in your group may carry painful or unsafe family histories. Make clear that "honor" never requires silence about abuse or continued exposure to harm, and let the group sit with that boundary honestly rather than rushing toward a tidy formula.